2 minutes
As I begin my fourth week in Koh Lanta, there is something that I bothering me.
The co-working space is great – its amazingly quiet even when most of the tables are taken. Everyone works on their projects and this makes for a enveloping of a energy that is productive and focused. There is also the peer-pressure of everyone heads down working – one does not want to be the odd one out pointlessly in Facebook or Buzzfeed. Not everyone is a coder programer type either. There is a group of 5 Canadians who are here to edit and finish their documentary, there is a guy who writes advertising scripts, a few photographers and designers. Luckily, there is also a guy writing here. He sets the pace for me. Most days he is in before me and will have 1000 words done.
There was a day when I was struggling to get much done, and when I spoke to him, he had 2000 words done. That pushed me to get in gear, and by the end of the day I had 1300 words when I would have been happy with 130. It was just what I needed.
While the writing is going well, I hit a total of 14000 words yesterday, I have not seen much of Koh Lanta. There is lots to do, and the good people at Kohub organise many events. There are quiz nights, karaoke, birthdays, overnight trips, boat rides, visits to the local school, sunset at the beach drinks, and so on. And I have not joined them for any of those.
One does not realise one’s physical mobility till one has a yardstick of others to measure with. And my mobility varies from day to day. As I wrote earlier, in terms of the long term, I am improving, but the day to day, it varies. Within a day, it varies as well. The weather, the amount of time I have been sitting, have I stretched during the day, all affect my mobility.
And then there is the state of mind. I have to be honest. I am not always sure how much of this is in my head and how much is real. I know that the problem with my leg is real but I am not sure of the degree – how much of that is behaviour entrenched over the last 9-10 months, and how much is an actual limitation. Or am I just overthinking the whole thing in either direction.
And this bothers me especially since I feel that I am missing out on the experience of being here. There is so much more I could be doing and experiencing.
Garry says that I should ”just whack only, not doing is worse” – which I do think is great advice. If only I could get my mind to believe that.